Where is it from?
Spiritual direction, sometimes referred to as spiritual guidance, "soul-friending" or companioning, is an approach to faith accompaniment focusing on the encounter with God through human experience. Its biblical roots offer many approaches, of which three quite different examples are:

• The child Samuel needs the priest Eli's help in responding to God's call (1 Samuel 3.1-10), a reminder of the role of seers and prophets in the Old Testament.

• On the Emmaus Road the two disciples need help from the risen Christ to interpret what had happened (Luke 23.13-35).

• Timothy needs Paul's encouragement in his calling (2 Timothy 2.1-7).

Building on these roots, spiritual direction in the Christian tradition is well documented throughout the centuries in the book Soul Friend by Kenneth Leech (Sheldon Press, pages 34-89). He provides a summary history to the present day of both the Protestant and the Catholic traditions.

In the same book, Leech documents the period of spiritual and social ferment since the early 1960s, highlighting three significant features:

1. A disenchantment with conventional Western religions, particularly institutional Christianity;

2. A desire for deeper ways of experiencing reality;

3. A concern for justice and peace, human liberation and fulfillment.

He suggests that as a result, a certain quality of spiritual direction is needed to help people in

• their struggles to pray, and to process significant experiences in prayer;

• their search for a spirituality that is rooted in life, and which is attentive to a concern for justice and peace and the renewal of the creation;

• their search for spiritual identity and integrity amidst changes in both Church and society.

What is it and what is its purpose?
Spiritual direction seeks to enable an individual to respond to the presence of God in ever deeper and broader ways. 

There is a difference between spiritual direction and counselling. Whereas counselling deals primarily with the problem areas of one's life and attempts to bring about their healthy resolution, spiritual direction is concerned with becoming more attuned to God's presence in order to respond more fully to that presence in the totality of life.

In her book entitled Spiritual Direction, Janet K Ruffing (St Paul's Publishing) draws on a powerful and captivating metaphor:

Spiritual direction is like panning for gold. A directee comes and together we dip into the stream of their life and pull up all kinds of things. Rocks of all sizes - I can never guess what's coming next - all kinds of conflicts and problems, then all of a sudden some fleck or nugget of pure gold emerges into view in the bottom of the pan as we swirl the water around, emptying out the rocks.

Together the director and directee look at everything - whatever is in the water and in the pan - during their time together of up to one hour. The director receives the directee's life and everything in that life, helping the directee contemplate the gold among all the conflicts and blocks and stuck places. A skillful director gives that gold reverence, time, interest, and attention until the directee realises how much more valuable are the flecks of gold than are all the stuck or problematic areas of his or her life.

In spiritual direction is heard incident after incident of grace of discovery and of struggle, which brings forth gently the question, "And where is God in all this?"

Who is it for?
The answer of most people would be, "Not for me!" It might be for ministers and deacons and local preachers, for prayerful, spiritual people - but not for the likes of me. 

Others might dismiss it as something not within their particular tradition. That said, contemporary spiritual direction has a strong affinity with the Church's ancient roots and the practices. In both, the individual is seeking to be accountable before God.

Spiritual direction can be for every Christian, and for each and every seeker who is giving time and attention to prayer and reflection in pursuit of their journey of faith. It is not counselling or therapy. It is often said that spiritual direction is for those who are seeking or who are ready to grow, those wanting to collect up the fragments of their lives and see the fingerprint of the divine, so discovering the presence of God in ordinary and extraordinary experiences of life. The great gift that each of us has is our life, and God is hidden and revealed within it. So all have the raw material to work with and to speak of in a faith accompaniment relationship.

Some use spiritual direction as a "school for prayer". They want to talk of the things that sustain them, and the things that remain elusive. They want to be challenged, to try something new, maybe from another tradition of spirituality or wisdom, and so to move on to another place. 

For some the old ways no longer work and they need an accepting and experienced guide to move them into new life-giving places, or to help them bear the pain or struggle of the present moment.

So what might a spiritual director offer in this approach to faith accompaniment?

• A relationship with another person committed to a prayerful and reflective experience of the Christian life.

• Someone in spiritual direction themselves.

• Accepting and attentive listening.

• A willingness to affirm, encourage and at times challenge.

• An awareness of different spiritual traditions, even though their own faith journey will be lived out from within their own background and experience.

• Sound theological training and the ability to offer insight, without correcting others in a way that seeks to theologically clone them.

• A desire to let the individual stay or move on as their own prayer and reflection leads them.

• A contemplative attitude.

• An un-condescending love of people.

• An approach with humility, reverence and seriousness, but also with humour and humanity rooted in everyday life.

• Not an expert with all the answers like some sort of spiritual guru, but a willing companion on the journey.

Who takes up the offer of Spiritual Direction?
In the experience of the writers, some will be ordained, most will not. Women will be in the majority and they will come from all the major denominational traditions. Others who will seek spiritual direction will have given up on any institutional church, but not on their seeking of God and living in the way of Jesus.

Spiritual direction in this approach to faith accompaniment can be for all people who want to journey with God at a deepening level throughout their lives. It is often taken up in that stage we call the "second half" of life.

The practicalities around finding someone to share your journey will be covered in the next article.

How to go about choosing a spiritual director (SD)
Many people are now recognising that it can be helpful to have a spiritual director and, given its importance, it is essential to make a careful choice. Different factors matter to different people, so here are some possibilities for consideration in making a choice (the list is not exhaustive):

• Do you especially want your SD to be woman or a man? A lay person, a priest/minister, or a member of a religious order? (If particular characteristics such as these matter to you, can you say why?)

• Would you like your SD to be a member of the same denomination as you?

• Do you mind whether your SD is older or younger than yourself?

• To what extent would you like conversation to be formal or informal?

• Is it important to you that your SD is grounded in a particular tradition (e.g. Benedictine, Evangelical, Charismatic), or would you like someone with an eclectic approach?

• Do you hope for an SD who shares an interest in something important to you in your prayer life (e.g. music, poetry, painting, clay)?

• Would you prefer your SD to be someone you will not meet in another context?

Practicalities
As well as questions about the nature of the relationship, there are practical factors which may affect your decision:

• How often do you hope to meet (e.g. monthly, every two months, every three months, by arrangement)?

• Are you able to meet the SD? How far are you willing to travel?

• Would this relationship affect, or be affected by, any other one-to-one meetings you are having (e.g. counselling, therapy)?

• How do you view the question of payment? Many SDs are able to offer this ministry without charge, while others will welcome a contribution in recognition of their time and the costs of their own training, supervision and travel. (If you are in employment and are invited to make a donation, a possible guideline is whatever you yourself would earn in an hour.)

The first meeting
The first meeting will be exploratory - a chance for you to get to know one another and to compare what you hope for with what the SD can offer. 

Your SD may suggest that you meet a few times and then review the relationship together. Throughout, it's important to say honestly what you think and feel about your meetings.

Preparing for a meeting
Your meetings will be most fruitful if you prepare for them. Pray that the Spirit may illuminate your reflection.

• Looking back over the time since the last meeting, what has been going on in your life? How have you been feeling? What have been your prevailing moods during this period?

• Have there been moments when you have been particularly aware of God's presence or activity in your life? How do you feel at those times? Have there been any surprises?

• What are your current preoccupations? In your innermost heart, what do you most hope for?

Reviewing the relationship
For the relationship to be fruitful, there must be commitment. This is a spiritual discipline, and it may take time for you to get to know each other and for confidence to grow. Nevertheless, it is good from time-to-time to reflect on the relationship.

• How do you feel as you prepare for a meeting?

• How do you feel during the meetings? Are you confident that what you say is heard?

• Do you feel accepted and respected, or insecure and judged?

• Do you feel supported or alone? Do you feel accompanied or pressured?

• Can you say what you want to say? Are you able to be completely honest, or are you aware of reserve?

• Are any periods of silence comfortable or uncomfortable?

• Is humour part of your meetings? Do you feel at ease?

• Do you feel challenged? If so, how do you respond to this?

• When guidance has been offered or an activity suggested, and was this helpful? Did you feel free to follow it or lay it aside?

• Do you think that the relationship still has something to offer? Might it be time for change? Is this something you feel called to talk over with your SD?

Looking for a Spiritual Director
You may already have someone in mind, or know someone who can suggest an SD. Locally, there may be a diocesan spiritual advisor or retreat house warden who can help.

Exploring personal prayer: Weeks of Guided Prayer
Weeks of guided prayer provide the opportunity for any Christian to explore their prayer and spiritual life with a trained guide, meeting for one evening a week over seven weeks

Weeks of guided prayer have been offered to Christians in their local settings for the past twenty years or so. In meeting with a prayer guide once a week an individual (often referred to as the pilgrim) can explore their life of prayer, or lack of it. 

The pilgrim may be experienced and want the opportunity to share something of their past and present journey, to be with another who will listen to them. Or they may feel like a beginner. In this case they may have many questions about prayer. The pilgrim may want to know how to start and what patterns and methods might be helpful.

Many pilgrims say it is the first time that they have been offered space and time in which to explore prayer honestly and openly with a guide who has been trained to listen and help in this way.

The initial inspiration for weeks of guided prayer came from the Ignatian tradition. Since then networks have arisen throughout Britain to facilitate this work on an ecumenical basis.

A seven-week model is an example of how a guided prayer program works. It is sometimes quite a large step of courage and faith to sign up for these weeks. Some pilgrims and prayer guides may feel anxious about it all - but the process is in fact simple and the atmosphere calm and accepting.

The first week is an evening spent together introducing the people and the process. The main point of this will be to help all to feel safe with one another, and to validate individuals to be where they are in their life of prayer and relationship with God. They are encouraged to expect it to be a time where God can be experienced in new and deeper ways.

The first one-to-one meeting between prayer guide and pilgrim begins in the second week and goes through to the sixth week. Up to half an hour is offered to each pilgrim to talk about what is happening (or not happening) within their prayer journey and their relationship with God.

Week seven is a time to share the fruits of the experience, to look ahead and to work out how to carry on the good things received by each pilgrim.

The venue for weeks of guided prayer can be a church building, if it has enough separate spaces for one-to-one meetings. It can also be a parish school or a community centre with sufficient places for the separate meetings of guides and pilgrims. A prayer guide would normally see two or three people in the course of evening. He or she would then meet for a brief period of supervision with the other guides or with the co-ordinator, who will be a person with greater experience of weeks of guided prayer.

What are the fruits of such weeks? Many pilgrims express gratitude that they have been listened to without judgment and helped to find whatever helps in their particular way of life, whether it be as young parent, a restricted elderly person or whatever the unique circumstances that make a major impact on their experience of God. 

Many will have been given new ways to pray and reflect that they had not previously known, particularly around praying with the Bible and releasing their own creativity in prayer.

The aim of weeks of guided prayer is to explore personal prayer. That door has been opened up for thousands through this ministry who with encouragement continue to push gently and keep the door ever more widely open. A fair number of pilgrims become, with training, some of the most enthusiastic and gifted guides.

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