The Christian worldview is that humanity, from its very beginning, was created with a need for community. Created in the image of God, we therefore have the capacity and the need for communion with God, and the need for meaningful personal relationships. 

From its own beginnings of "band" and "class" meetings, gathering together in small groups has been very much a part of Methodism, whether it be for worship, study of scripture, prayer, or simply an opportunity to build one another up through love, encouragement, counsel, guidance and support. Traditionally, in the main, these small groups have functioned with an appointed leader or leaders and meet for discussion of one kind or another.

An alternative approach to that of the discussion group, with a great deal to commend it, is the listening group.

The Listening Group
A welcome and quiet time of prayer may be followed by an introduction and explanation of the nature and aim of a Listening Group. The atmosphere should be relaxed, friendly and warm. People should nor feel pressured but able to share when they are ready and free to be themselves. 

If this is to happen then each member should be willing to:

• Listen
• Be patient
• Share
• Be non-judgemental
• Be accepting
• Not dominate in any way
• Keep an open mind
• Keep everything in the group confidential
• Respect others’ opinions (even though you may not share them).

• It is good to sit in a circle that has only as many chairs as are necessary, in which as far as possible members can see and hear each other comfortably.

• The aim is to provide a supportive environment within which each person can share, in turn, their own experience.

• Each other group member receives what is shared in silence and without comment.

• After each sharing there is a brief silence in order to appreciate what has been said. In silence we pray for the person who has shared.

• Another person shares, and so on until every group member has spoken.

• The group is responsible for ensuring that each person has time to share.

• Each person accepts authority for the depth and detail of hi or her own sharing.

After everyone has had a chance to share there follows a brief period of silence to reflect on what has been said. Each is then invited to share what happened in them as they listened. What impressed me? What touched me as others shared? Did something "ring bells" with me? Did I have any new insights? 

The important thing here is to stick to my reactions and to avoid comment, interpretation, judgement or advice. It is an opportunity to affirm each other, certainly not to disagree or criticise. Stick to sharing experience. Try to stick to "I" statements (e.g. "When you said that, I felt …").

The art of listening
"It is not enough to look and see, we must also learn to listen in order to hear. How often it happens that in a conversation when opinions differ or clash, instead of hearing what our companion says, we glean from his discourse enough material to be ready, the moment he falls silent (if we can wait that long), to contradict him. 

The one speaks, the other does not listen. And after the first round one changes places so that in the end each has spoken and none has heard". (Anthony Bloom)

[Home] [Back]