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7. Only Connect

Aim: To bring together that which belongs together, our humanity, sexuality and spirituality.

Things you will need:

  • Large candle and matches
  • Light-coloured fabric
  • Pens and paper
  • Copies of E M Forster's words from Howard's End

Suggested focal point: A large candle placed on the fabric

Welcome, introductions, explanations

Centring exercise

Session 1 Input:
Agreement with group that all is shared with confidentiality

Introduce the idea that much to do with the Church and its language and teaching has separated out that which belongs together, namely our humanity, sexuality and spirituality. Offer examples of this dualism.

Gather together, and share, some descriptions and definitions of the words "humanity", "sexuality" and "spirituality". It's important to keep in mind that there are no right or wrong responses - only the responses of each person.

Share that the movement into freedom is a movement away from dualism, for is not the greatest freedom in life to be a whole human being? Indeed it has been suggested that the greatest compliment we can have paid, or pay another, is to say that he or she is a real human being.

Read E M Forster's words from Howard's End that prompt the title of the day.

Only connect the passion and the prose 
and both will be exalted 
and human love will be seen at its 
height. 
Live in fragments no longer.

Suggestions for prayer and reflection:

  • Spend some time reflecting on E M Forster's words from Howard's End.
  • Wrestle with and then endeavour to define your own understanding of
    • "Humanity" - what it means to be human.
    • "Sexuality" - what it means to be a sexual human being from birth to death.
    • "Spirituality" - what it means to be embraced in the totality of life.
  • Remember, there are no "right" and "wrong" answers, only your own responses.
  • After a time for prayer and reflection move into listening groups of three or four people (ideally with a gender mix) and share with the group your responses, without comment.

Session 2
Suggestions for prayer and reflection

  • Consider under headings, drawing up two columns for each, your humanity, your sexuality and your spirituality.
    • Be in touch with those small or larger things that bring you to life, that are life-giving; and those small or larger things that deaden, that are life-draining.
    • Are there points of overlap and crossover between the columns? If there are, highlight them and reflect for a time on the "why".
    • After a time of prayer and reflection move into listening groups as before, sharing only that which you choose to share, without comment.

Session 3
Suggestions for prayer and reflection

  • If pleasure, pain and passion are an integral part of what it is to be human, spend time getting touch with your responses to these questions under the headings of humanity, sexuality and spirituality.
  • What are some of the things that bring you pleasure? Where do you find an outlet for laughter and fun? What recently has shaken God with your laughter?
  • What makes you weep? What stirs you to the point of tears, touching you painfully in the deepest place in your heart? How does God share your pain and tears?
  • What do you feel strongly and passionately about? What arouses deep passion within you, and when? How is God a passionate God for you?
  • Jot down your thoughts, feelings, reflections, and images. Be adventurous!
  • After a time of prayer and reflection, move into listening groups as before, sharing only that which you choose to share, without comment.

Worship
Perhaps an open time of sharing any connections made, surprises experienced, shocks and so on, with a reminder about the confidentiality of all that is shared.

Close with a time of silence and a sharing of the peace through the group, with handshakes and/or hugs.

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